"How is every little thing? Still little?"

The first time I remember this question was when I was around 3.  To me, 'every little thing' was everything about me.  My hands, my feet, my head, my clothes... well, just... me.  I'd giggle and run into his arms as he picked me up and gave me a big bear hug.  I remember him sneaking me candy whenever Mamaw wasn't looking.  "It'll be our secret."  He said.  I'd smile as I crammed the M&Ms in my mouth and ran away to go play with the dogs.

I remember that candy.  It was in a jar next to his favorite rocking chair.  It never moved except to get the candy out of it to sneak to my sister and I.  If it wasn't peanut M&Ms (still my favorite to this day), it was Tart N Tinys, or the dinner mints... remember those?  I do.

As I grew older, things weren't quite as little because I was obviously growing.  Yet the question was still asked during every visit, "How is every little thing?  Still little?"  We'd chuckle and hug and I'd say "Well, not quite as little as they used to be, but I'm trying!"  I'd sit in the living room while he'd tell stories about when my Dad was little, or go play with my cousins and the dogs (who were getting older).

I remember going to bible camp.  I remember when I was saved and baptized.  He was the one who laid me back into the water.  I trusted him.  I would have chosen no one else to help me to be reborn to Christ.  After that moment, I was happier, everything was lighter, the breeze was cooler, the sky bluer.  Everything was so much more wonderful.  I'm so glad he was a part of that.

Years passed, I grew older, and visits were fewer and fewer... mainly because I lived farther away.  I saw him again at my sister's wedding.  He was looking a bit more worn as he had aged quite a bit... his body more tired.  I had missed him so.  Once again, he asked the question:  "How's every little thing?  Still little?"  I laughed and hugged him as we sat in the first row and watched my sister marry the love of her life.

Still more years passed.  I hadn't seen him in a long time.  Then I got a phone call from my Dad.  He told me that he is very ill.  I was desperate to see him.  I loved him so... I wanted to tell him.  So I found a way to raise money, rented a car, drove down to see him and spent several hours just talking with my relatives, reminiscing, and laughing.  He just sat, watched, and smiled.  After a bit he interjected our conversation and looked at me and said, "Do you remember when I would ask you if everything's still little?"  I chuckled and said, "Yes, I do."  He asked me, "Do you know why I always asked you if everything was still little?"  I said that I did not.  "Well,"  he said, while taking a labored breath, "it was because so long as you keep every little thing still little, nothing is so big that you can't overcome it."  I felt a lump crawl up into my throat, but I stayed strong.  We spent the next several hours just talking while he watched, smiling.  Before we all left, I gave him a really big hug, kissed him on the cheek, and whispered in his ear, "I love you, Papaw.  Very very much."  "I love you, too, Baby."  He said.  As I walked away, I grabbed his hand.  Fearful to let go.  I knew that it may be the very last time I see his kind eyes looking at me and his smile on his face.

I just got word today that the nurses project that he only has less than 48 hours to live.  Some of my greatest memories from childhood, snuffed out.  Heck yes, I was angry!  But then I tell myself, no matter how difficult things are, how complicated they seem, how painful, how horrible, or how heart wrenching they can be... so long as I keep every little thing still little, and don't dwell on them, nothing is too big for me to overcome.

I love you, Papaw.  You will be greatly missed.  *hugs*

Donald Y. Rountree, aka. "Papaw"
Beloved Son, Brother, Husband, Father, Grandfather, Great-Grandfather, and Friend.